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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Just a little something for your funnybone.


An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning
till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about
something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with
his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.


One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field.
He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat
his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag,
nag; it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with
both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on
the spot.


At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather
odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for
a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached
him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This
was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.


So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him
why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head
and disagreed with all the men.


The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about
how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in
agreement."


"And what about the men?" the minister asked. "They wanted to know if the
mule was for sale." ;D
 

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:D :D :D
 

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;D ;D ;D ;D LMAO!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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I saw this one posted on the wall of a local post office in Idaho about 10 years ago.




A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?" The farmer said, "Yes, I want to get one of those dayvorce's"

The attorney said, "Well, do you have any grounds?" The farmer said, "Yep, I got about 140 acres."

The attorney said, "No, do you don't understand, do you have a case?" The farmer said, "Nope, I don't have a Case, I got me a John Deere."

The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?" The farmer said, "Yep, I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere."

The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?" The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays."

The attorney said, "Well sir, does you wife beat you up or anything?" The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up at 4:30 a.m."

The attorney then said, "Well, is she a nagger or anything?" The farmer said, "No, she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger and that's why I want this dayvorce!"
 

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A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.

They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.

She lives for ten more years, and then dies.

A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.

As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for that wall!''
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
;D ;D ;D ;D
 

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An old man and his wife are sitting in the kitchen eating supper.

The old woman says to the man, "Thar's a problem out thar in the outhouse"

The old mans says, "Whut problem is thar?"

She says "Go'n see for yerself!"

So the old man trudges out to the outhouse, opens the door and looks inside.

He hollers back, "I cain't see nuthin' wrong here!"

She hollers back, "Look closer!"

He steps in and looks around. Still nothing...

He hollers back again, "THAR AIN'T NUTHIN' WRONG OUT HERE!"

She hollers back, "YES THAR IS - YOU AIN'T LOOKIN' CLOSE ENUFF YOU IDIOT!"

So he searches the entire outhouse and finds nothing, and the only place left to look is down in the hole, so he sticks his head down to take a look and starts SCREAMING!

"Maw, maw, come quick!"

She runs out, flings the door open and says, "WHUT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!"

He says, "MY BEARD IS STUCK IN A CRACK IN THE SEAT!"

She looks at him coldly and says, "AGGRAVATIN' - AIN'T IT?" - slams the door and walks back to the house... ::)
 

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An image I just didn't need in my head
 
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