a little humor?

Questions That Must Be Answered


1. Can you cry underwater?

Yeah, and cut myself to...

2. Why do you have to "put your two cents in" ... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Charity

3. What disease did cured ham actually have?

AIDS

4. If a deaf person has to go to court, it is still called a hearing?

Deaf people usually make all sorts of funny noises, so for almost every one else in the court yes...

5. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?...

6. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Gives them time to lace a button Camera into their outfit...

7. If the "Professor" on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in the boat?

Because he is a professor, not a mechanic... he is no longer capable of working on a simple intellectual level...

8. Do the "Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune?

Yes...

9. Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

I only sang it in my head...

10. Why is is a parkway when you drive on it?

To confuse foreigners

11. Why is it a driveway when you park on it?

To anger foreigners

12. Why is it a "ham" burger when its made from beef?

Damn Germans...

13. If superman (not Aussie) is bullet proof, why does he duck when the gun is thrown at him?

The size and speed difference, see bullets are small and fast, if they don't hit him, they may just hit someone behind him. So best to just take it. the gun being thrown is bigger and slower and wont go far or fast enough to kill any one behind him...

Questions That HAVE BEEN Answered


1. Can you cry underwater?---- yea, but it stings

2. Why do you have to "put your two cents in" ... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? ---the other cent goes to pay you to keep your pie hole shut next time

3. What disease did cured ham actually have? ---polycythemia (too much blood)

4. If a deaf person has to go to court, it is still called a hearing? yep, he's not the one hearing it the judge is.

5. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? ---because many women only use one bra but many panties

6. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. ---professional distance

7. If the "Professor" on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in the boat? ---he only went to school for electronics

8. Do the "Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune? ---because they are sung by the same person

9. Why did you just try singing the two songs above? ---because I'm a moron

10. Why is is a parkway when you drive on it? ---because it's next to a park

11. Why is it a driveway when you park on it? ---because it's by where you drive

12. Why is it a "ham" burger when its made from beef? ---we must be making it wrong

13. If superman (not aussie) is bullet proof, why does he duck when the gun is thrown at him? ---because he's not gun-proof

1. Can you cry underwater? Yes
2. Why do you have to "put your two cents in" ... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Taxes!
3. What disease did cured ham actually have? Excessive flatulance

4. If a deaf person has to go to court, it is still called a hearing? Of course, that's how thay take the piss out of deaf folks

5. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? If it's related to a woman why in the hell do you think you're supposed to understand it.

6. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. They have to leave to laugh at the fact you're taking you clothes off to get examined for a headache.

7. If the "Professor" on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in the boat? He's an electrical engineer and not a marine engineer, dumb ass!

8. Do the "Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune? Hey, I've only had kids for four weeks, give me a chance, plus I'm dyslexic to to me tha alphabet song cound sould like anything.
9. Why did you just try singing the two songs above? I didn't. But nice try.

10. Why is is a parkway when you drive on it? Hey in England the pavement is what you walk on so don't ask me why you guys seem to invent words.

11. Why is it a driveway when you park on it? See above.

12. Why is it a "ham" burger when its made from beef? I don't know, it's your country.

13. If superman (not aussie) is bullet proof, why does he duck when the gun is thrown at him? Cause you can't do commercials with a fat lip and a brused face.

Okay, I'll bite.


1. Can you cry underwater? Certainly. I have cried in the shower. HA!

2. Why do you have to "put your two cents in" ... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Your two cents is way more important, because you are VOICING it rather than thinking it. Everyone knows that.

3. What disease did cured ham actually have? Tastelessness.

4. If a deaf person has to go to court, it is still called a hearing? Yes. It is called a hearing because it is a case put up for the jury to hear and decide on.

5. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? "Panties" comes from the word "Pantaloons". Shorten it down and it becomes "Panties". Simply slang for "Pantaloons".

6. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? Less humiliation when you can hide behind the paper robe, I guess.

7. If the "Professor" on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in the boat? There's nothing inside his own coconut. Birds of a feather...

8. Do the "Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune? No. But they start out the same.

9. Why did you just try singing the two songs above? I didn't. This was an experiment executed long ago in my kindergarten years.

10. Why is is a parkway when you drive on it? Stop-and-go traffic turns it into a "park"way.

11. Why is it a driveway when you park on it? Because it drives you crazy trying to back out of it.

12. Why is it a "ham" burger when its made from beef? Perhaps they were once made of ham?

13. If superman (not aussie) is bullet proof, why does he duck when the gun is thrown at him? didn't want to fudge up his pretty hair.

It's evolution, Ran, working its magic on us while ya'll still stay cavemen. ;D

Evolved:




Stuck in the Cretaceous period:


;D