How big of a department is it Lex? Sounds as if a real small one. However let me impart impart to you, and any other who are interested, my experiences as a LEO.
My PD experience lasted 4 1/2 years. I started as an SO deputy, 3rd largest in that state. Then went to what I thought was a small dept. PD with 58 total employees, about 48 officers but it was a crappy city riddled with gang problems. I did live in a small town that had 6 or so officers and quite often talked and interacted with them. Now I'm a dirty fed in an agency of 16,000 or so Agents, trying for 20,000, for the past 10+ years. As BP I've also worked in areas that had small PD force or as in Ajo, AZ example, 3 Pima County deputies "assigned" for a 3 year period to Ajo, which is very isolated part of the county.
1. The worst part of the job to deal with?
This varies greatly to what you may consider the worst. Prior to being a cop I was a resident firefighter/EMT and I had to respond to 2 SIDS deaths less than 2 months apart. My nightmare scenario would be to have to deal with a death of a child, such as in an accident. So far, knock on wood, I haven't had to deal with that. The closest I had to as a cop was a 14 y/o girl who got shot, sorta accidentally :
, by a 15 y/o kid. Kid was tried as an adult and it ended in trial but plead out to manslaughter.
If I had to generalize it, cops don't get welcomed when we have to respond. We are not firefighters so using all fingers to wave at us is an option. Add to that a certain amount of the population absolutely hate cops, and ridiculously enough most of them never had any interaction with cops maybe other than a ticket. Just troll around ARFCOM and other forums. Everything we do is looked under a microscope and quite often is Monday morning quarterbacked, the media, and we are held to a higher standard over the general population. I don't have a problem with those issues, except the media. They are not our friends, period!
A small town environment has their own issues. First off it will be a good 'ol boy network and there is no way around it. You will be
expected to only enforce the law on 'da other people'. You will have to use extreme discretion. If that PD position is the only position, I'd advise against it. I'd leave it to someone who has vast PD experience AND knows the town or at least knows what to expect. Usually someone with that background will know how to be able to be effective and deal with the good 'ol boys. If you have a few cops in that town and that is what you want to be, then be ready to be bored broken up with a few days a year of 'excitement'. Unfortunately trying to 'trap' speeders may be the most of the action. Small towns with high crime rate will usually contract with SO or large adjoining agency. Usually small towns that want a PD force is because they want to control who gets it and who don't. Mayors and city council members do not get held to our standards. External politics have a direct influence on your job. As oppose to a large agency, but internal politics takes that place. Pretty much as any other job.
There is more but that sums the biggest issues.
2. Domestic Violence (DV's):
As a PD Officer, you are not a counselor so don't try to be one. Professionalism and tact is the only way to deal with DV's. First off, at least 90% of DV's alcohol and/or drugs are involved. And probably in the high 90's. Most states (WA, CA, and AZ are almost identical) have a very simple laws covering DV's. And that is an arrest is mandatory if the officer determined that an assault had occurred and the
primary aggressor WILL be arrested. CIte and release is not an option. You can cite both but one will go to jail. Under DV laws the officer will not be held criminally or civilly responsible for conducting a LAWFUL arrest.
Let me translate, don't try to work their issues out. If you can determine that a crime had been committed involving a DV situation, just bag them. Using 'discretion' will hang your ass. This include (unfortunately) some guy who gets mad and punches the wall. I know it's BS, but I didn't write the laws. If you don't and you come back and someone had been stabbed or shot, you are gonna have some explaining to do. If it is just a verbal issue, which in my experience is about 1/3 of my DV calls experience, convince one of them to leave for the night. Do it convincingly that they will go to jail if you come back. Better yet, offer them a ride. Preferrably to a location as far away as possible like a hotel. I never allowed anyone to stay somewhere else for the night just down the block or that they have easy transportation. My tactic was to explain to them the DV laws, especially the part where I won't be held responsible if I found a reason to arrest and I can always find that reason. Remember, most are drunk or drugged so deal with them as unruly children with extreme ADD.
As far as the burden of tax payers go, consider the expense to investigate a crime scene, the cost of the hospital bill that will surely be covered by welfare, or your department. Also the cost of a lengthy trial a year later, or the cost of welfare for the kids when a parent is dead and the other in jail. Making 100 Dv arrest with a cost of $200 booking and jail per arrest will be a bargain in comparison to one Dv situation that goes bad. And I haven't even mentioned civil litigation if an officer fails to do his duty.
Like I said before, I think DV laws go a bit extreme, specifically how even when an actual assault didn't occur someone can be arrested. Such as in damaging property or disorderly conduct (verbal threats). Getting arrested for that then being convicted will result of that person being a prohibited possessor. But it is what it is. By the time you've been to your fist DV you will clearly agree with 80% of what I just posted. By the time you've been to your 2nd DV you will agree 100%. Bottom line, you will not/cannot reason with a drunk/drugged asshole. You should be able to fool them easily though. If not a drunk or drugged asshole will seemingly and miraculously always end up getting themselves arrested.
Although women will usually be the victim, don't be fooled to think they don't know DV laws and you will come accross those who will exploit it.
3. How do I reset?
Reset what? There is no reset.
It takes time. There really is no way not to bring work stress home, in LE or any other jobs. The difference is that being a LEO is a lifestyle, typical to that like the military, firefighter, or any other job where you will deal with human pain and suffering. Time is all it takes. Whether it means down the road you will consider to stay in the field or you will adapt to it. Each person has their methods. Being a LEO, as I mentioned before, you will be held to a higher standard, you will be under the microscope, and you will be Monday morning QB'd. What I mean by higher standard is when a LEO falls from grace (f's up as in does something criminally stupid) there is no leniency. You will get the hardest prosecution and the harshest punishment. I tend to agree with this to an extent. We are given powers that citizens typically don't have. Those powers are that we can seize a person, take his property, and to take their life if necessary. Of course, contrary to the tin foil hat beliefs, those powers are heavily scrutinized to the nth degree. By law we can cuss out anyone. By expectation and professional conduct, I wouldn't want to be the one explaining to my chief how I ended up on youtube cussing out someone. Might end up getting a few days on the beach (our jargon for suspension) if we are lucky. We are allowed to do our job as per the U.S. Constitution, Federal/State/local laws, court rulings, and agency or dept. policies. At the same time we have to have the balls to do things that push those limits. It's a very uneasy balance at best, specifically dept. policies. Dept. policies are often violated while trying to do our jobs.
The biggest thing to get LEO's in trouble is 1. Alcohol and 2. Screwing around. Most citizens won't lose their jobs if they get a DUI. You almost always will as a cop. The screwing around part usually won't get you fired but it never seems to amaze me seeing some dumbshit lose his jobs because some lil' 17 y/o though he was sexy in uniform, some chick (or not) popped for DUI got out of it by 'oral reparations', and there are those stories, which are true, a cop and coppette who are both married.....to other people, getting locked in the back of a squad car. Shit, is Motel 6 that cost prohibited? You will most likely end up with friends that are also cops, were cops, or pro cop. Your old pals that like to smoke a joint every now and then, or party alot, pick up a hooker in Las Vegas. Well for us what happens in Vegas won't stay in Vegas, capish. I rarely drink, and what I mean rarely I'm talking about maybe 3 to 6 beers a year. I've already been divorced because apparently my ex somehow thought this will be a day job only and apparently I needed to be there every night to make sure she wouldn't fuck around. I'm remarried to a great woman and met her after I passed all my phases at the job.
I will say that the first 2 years are cool, exciting, and new. The following 2 to 4 years usually the 'respect my authoritan' kicks in. Usually cops gets burned out by their 4th or 5th year. Also usually most divorces take place around this time. During the burn out period many either would have left LE by now or switched to another agency. From the 6th year on out most tend to become rounded with experience. For the most part the asshole (to civilians) stage would have passed but if their are dead set to still be an asshole there are always their fellow officers to be and asshole towards. Many would have either moved up the ranks or do non-patrol type duties, such as I have done.
On the bad side complacency tends to set in. Usually at this point you've become accustomed to the 'LE lifestyle'. I've mentioned before on other posts about how we usually remain in 'condition yellow' and that is pretty much constantly aware of your surroundings become second nature. I can't help it. I'm pretty mellow about it and other non-leo people, to include my family, don't even notice it. They never notice how I always pick the table in the back corner and how I alway sit with my back to the wall usually gun side towards wall if possible. How I always keep my gun hand unoccupied and will feel uncomfortable if it is, some exceptions allowed of course. I always scan other vehicles around me when I drive around and I always look at plates. Now this may sounds as if I'm paranoid but I'm not. Frankly I couldn't give a shit if I saw something that may alert me to the point last Friday seeing someone weaving all over the road. I didn't even call it in. But I will pick out some shitbags hanging around my house. Many in LE get paranoid about bad guys knowing where they live. I don't. I count on it that they do know where I live, and I don't care, but as I stated before I'm always aware. I know who they are the shit bags and they know who I am even though we've never have met. Seems to me it comes second nature. There isn't a trend in this country where bad guys are retaliating officers at home so I sleep like a baby. When I'm off duty don't f with me and you won't get f'd with, but when I'm back on duty I pick it up from there. Too fucking bad for them. Don't be a shitbag then.
I rarely discuss work issues at home but make no mistake I'm a cop. I have just one simple rule at home and that is I demand peace and tranquility. Drama is not to be tolerated and I do have the experience and training to stop drama immediately. With my wife, I pretty much give her what she wants and she takes care of me very well. On the spouse issue, pick the right one and have the cojones to accept nothing else. I have had GF in the past who seem to love drama. Needless to say they didn't last and there are no 2nd chances with in that arena. I don't like to yell or be yelled at and be prepared to live alone but at least be demanding to live with peace and happiness. Actually that should apply to everyone and anyone.
I hope this helped Lex. I had some time to kill.....at work.
Edited to add:
Just to recap as to why not date psyco GF or have problem wives, well put it this way: I remember that ex-bitch GF always wanting to start an argument before I left for work. I don't know what it was that started it. Now that I look back it seems clear to me that was the way she garned attention from me and what frustrated her most was that I din't react as she expected. I would basically not show that it bothered me and I would turn the issues around, thanks to the times I've sat before a jury being grilled by a defense attorney. But of course I still get pissed and THEN go to work pissed. It doesn't lend to being in the best state of mind being that we are not robots. Luckily I've been at the job for a number of years and it wasn't an issue. My ex-wife situation: I took a lot of leave during that time. I'd get to work realizing that if I'd gotten in to a fight I was capable of over doing it. now, my home life is exactly the way I want it. When I come home it is my temple of peace. I leave my muddy boots and shit from the field at my door.
That leads to the next thing: Know your limitations. It's tough to gauge but it's a must. Know when to walk away. We are not superman, but to many that is easily forgotten.
LE is definitely not an easy job. Actually is a very thankless profession but it is challenging so it does attract many type A personalities. If fact I think it's the only thing that makes this job attractive. Definitely nothing like what TV shows and movies like to portray. Some come close, some are dead on in certain areas. And CSI doesn't come close at anything involving actual forensics or police work. It's a really stupid show.
What I find funny is how TV networks will have an 'expose' about something bad a PD officer or agency had done. Then turn around and show some stupid cop show, like CSI, where the cops will say some stupid remark when they arrest someone or come accross a bad guy. But it's comedy to me. Reno 911 is more realistic than CSI.
And regarding human suffering remark, It even astounds me that more than one occassion I've held the hand of someone asking me to hold it as they died. Well two died, and one survived but was convinced he was going to die and so did I. Of course I don't have a clue of who they were or I don't remember. But I can describe them to a tee even though they've happened years apart. And after dealing with that, the next day, heck even within hours, it's back to the same grind and you might have to deal with some fat ass bitch wanting to fight with her neighbor over their cat shitting in her flower bed or things equally stupid. And you must do so with tact and professionalism. And at the end of the day you will have to go home and read bedtime stories to the kids and listen to your wife ask you what you want for dinner the following day as if nothing had ever happened.
I do have a lot of stories of my experiences. Most of I tend to kinda forget, but when I remember them I definitely remember them. Many are pretty funny but they are stories that have to be told in person. I do like the excitement and wouldn't want to do anything else. It will harden you towards many things and soften you to some.
For over 10 years my LE field is in immigration. Not quite the traditional LE duties but every now and then we do it. The bulk of our job is quite unique. Add to what I'm doing now, even more unique that I'm positive if I unleashed some of the stuff I've seen, heard, or experienced many would have a hard time believing them.... until I have a fellow agent sitting next to me saying, "yup, that shit did go down". the southern border is a world in it's own to include even those who live down by the border don't know what happens at the border.
My time as a cop I had to deal with over half my calls being DV or other assault related. Hardly any traffic type stuff.
If you want to be in the best paid LE jobs, go fed.
